What Ball Am I

[Verse 1]
I walked in here with a hustle in my heart Cleaned out the table before the music could start I was bankin' the five and cutting the two Making that cue ball do what it do But then the tray came around with that golden tequila And now the felt feels soft like a fluffy chinchilla I lined up a shot that was sure to impress But my partner is screaming like he's under duress

[Chorus]
Hey buddy, tell me, what ball am I? Am I the stripes or the solids, I’m too drunk to try I see a purple one there, and an orange one too But I can't remember which one belongs to who The 8-ball is winking, staring me down I’m the finest pool player in this whole damn town But I got double vision and my throat’s bone dry Somebody tell me, what ball am I?

[Verse 2]
I chalked up my cue, well I chalked up my nose I’m striking a pose like the pros, I suppose I aimed for the corner, focused and tight But I sent the cue ball into a pitcher of Lite Now the owner is yelling, "Hey, get off the felt!" And I’m fumbling around trying to loosen my belt To pay up the wager I made on this game If I could only remember the guy's first name

[Chorus]
Hey buddy, tell me, what ball am I? Am I the stripes or the solids, I’m too drunk to try I see a purple one there, and an orange one too But I can't remember which one belongs to who The 8-ball is winking, staring me down I’m the finest pool player in this whole damn town But I got double vision and my throat’s bone dry Somebody tell me, what ball am I?

[Guitar Solo - messy and slide heavy]

[Bridge]
I bet fifty bucks, I think I bet my truck I need a miracle, or just a little luck I squint one eye, try to focus the beam Is that a stripe or a solid? Or is it a dream? I'm calling the pocket! The one by the door! (Sound of balls crashing onto the floor)

[Chorus]
Hey buddy, tell me, what ball am I? Am I the stripes or the solids, I’m too drunk to try I see a purple one there, and an orange one too But I can't remember which one belongs to who The 8-ball is winking, staring me down I’m the finest pool player in this whole damn town But I got double vision and my throat’s bone dry Somebody tell me, what ball am I?

[Outro]
I'm sinking the 8! (Sound of glass breaking) Wait, that was the jukebox. Solids? Stripes? I think I'll just play darts. (Fade out with laughter)